Some photos

Mikey enjoying some mush. Yum!

Frogs eggs in our pond. There are heaps of frogs out there - they sound like popcorn going off all night.

Picnic kitty

Hamish and Saffy contemplate the garden

The best and worst sleepers in our family resting together!

Nativity Set

Our church mums bookclub has just finished reading a book called 'Treasuring God in Our Traditions" and it got me thinking about Christmas this year. I figured it was time to get a nativity set that the kids could play with.

I bought this finger puppet one on ebay:

The full set

Shepherds (somewhat sinister looking!)

Three Wise Men

Angel and star

Mary, Joseph, Jesus and Donkey!

Today Thus Far

Woken early by baby, after another restless night.

Feel very tired and unable to function.
Have coffee.
Burst into song in kitchen, to bemusement of children.


Me: You're a cheeky monkey, Hamish.
Hamish: I know mum, I know!

Go to park to meet a couple of mums from mothers group.
Feel like failure as parent as I strip H's wet shoes and socks off his feet - he made it into the water on pretext of chasing ducks.
Realise on way home that I am not failure, just only one there with two kids present. Need cloning machine.

Clean some gunge out of the pool, and spot some weird creepy crawlies in the water. On closer inspection, realise pool is teeming with the little buggers. I don't like them - they scuttle along the ground back to the water when I tip them out of the skimmer box.
Ring pool shop to be told I will have to squash the bugs - only way to get rid of them apparently. Oh, and they bite.

Finally get baby to sleep, only to have toddler deliberately open the door, waking him up.
Put toddler in his room while I try to resettle baby.
Give up.
Go to release toddler from confinement. Can't see him in room. Hmmm.
Me: Hamish?
Cupboard: Yes mum?

Drink another coffee. Don't burst into song this time.

Go to shops.
On arrival in carpark, realise baby has thrown up all over top. Is now soaked.
Find old clean baby top in boot - hurrah!
Do shopping.
Buy cupcakes.
Come home.
Eat cake.

Reflect that it's not so much what happens during the day that counts, but how I respond to it, and how I treat my kids whilst feeling fragile, that's important. I guess today isn't all that bad when I look at it that way.

On with the afternoon!

Love this Poem

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.


by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Some Changes in Perspective

We are so well off. Compared to the many in the world, we have wealth plus plus plus. Got running water? You're doing better than almost 90% of the earth's population.

What I do has value. Even on the days when it feels like I have achieved nothing. Staying home with kids is significant - to me, to my family, to God, to society. And when I value it, I enjoy it much more! (Not suggesting it's the only thing that's valuable to do, or better than other things, just that it is a very worthwhile thing to do. I often feel like I'm not achieving much but it's good to remember that the little moments add up to make a life and they all count).

Housework is greatly influenced by social acceptability. I don't actually have to do it all, I just think I need to, so people won't assume I'm a total slob.

It's not that my baby doesn't match the books, but that the books don't match my baby. So I can ignore them and get on with enjoying him.

I'm a wimp

When it comes to killing snails. We've got hoards of them in the garden, and as I am planting a vegie patch I figured it was time to cull some.

I was going to put pellets down, until I read the packets - they say they have 'child resistant flavouring' - which I take to mean they are not good for littlies to eat! And I know Hamish would definitely eat them. So that option was out.

Then I decided I would have to drown them. But once I started to pick them up and put them in the bucket, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. They are so cute!

So plan C - collect them all up and dump them around the other side of the house, and hope they don't find theu way back in a hurry.

Of course, the little blighters didn't want to stay in the bucket! But I managed to move all the ones I could see. This was within a few square metres mind you - plenty more in the rest of the yard. I imagine I'll have to do regular collections...

Food Is Fun!

Highlight of The Day...

...was Hamish coming around the corner from the hall, wearing a cloth nappy on his head, announcing that he was "King Solomon!"

And yes, it was a dirty nappy!

I wonder what the Queen of Sheba would have thought...

Poetry competition

Kitchen clutter crowding my bench
Termite mound casting shadows

This is an example of an Ezra Pound couplet. I've written it for Nicole's poetry competition - why don't you enter too?

More details here and here.

At The Moment

At the moment, it is hard to:

• Get Wiggles songs out of my head.
• Do the laundry.
• Finish a cup of tea (somehow I always finish my coffee though...)
• Get any job done that requires exiting the house - like putting the rubbish in the bin, or the washing on the line.
• Wear matching socks (yes, this affliction affects me as well as the kids now!)
• Get an early night.
• Not rely on tv as a babysitter.

But, it is easy to:

• Laugh. A lot of laughing going on here.
• Realise that the things I'm seeing and experiencing with the kids will be treasured memories in years to come.
• Pray.
• Wear a lot of fluff. You know you have a problem when people regularly comment 'you must have some pets at home!'
• Not really care about the fluff.
• Enjoy the sunshine.

How about you?  What's hard and easy in your life at the moment?

Four Moments

Today is Father's Day. (Not sure where the apostrophe goes there!). We gave Adam a card in bed this morning and I enjoyed seeing him start the day with his two sons. He is a great dad. I reflected on his Pop, who passed away in January 2009. I'm sad that he's not with us today.

*****

At church, as I stand singing, listening to the voices of those around me, I remember previous times I have sung these songs, with the voices of friends lifting around me. It gives me a sense of connection with Christian friends from my old church. Although I don't keep in touch with most of them, we remain connected by our trust in Jesus, and this ritual of singing each week. I think of all the people who have sung the same songs over the course of time, and am grateful for the family of God.

*****

After the service, I give Hamish a cup of cordial from the kids' food table. It reminds me of church when I was a kid - we used to line up at an outside window at St Lukes Hornsby Heights to get our cordial, in brightly coloured plastic cups. I remember crowds of children, eagerly reaching up to the window. The cups we use today at Gosford Presbyterian Church are exactly the same, and it's a little surreal to be helping my little boy drink from one today.

*****

I open my fridge, and see the orange and mango jelly I made the day before, sitting in a blue mixing bowl. I am reminded of my childhood, watching Dad mix jelly in the kitchen. We used to have big jars of the crystals, not the little packets you get today. We'd sneak spoonfuls of it - a sugar hit! Jelly always felt like a real treat. Dad would mix it up in glass jugs and always stick a metal spoon in - something about it preventing the heat from cracking the glass.  As I look at my jelly today, I suddenly feel very rich. Its value seems so much more than the few dollars it cost me.

Dedication

This is the dedication inside the Agatha Christie novel, "The Secret Adversary":

To

ALL THOSE WHO LEAD

MONOTONOUS LIVES

in the hope that they may experience 

at second hand the delights and 

dangers of adventure

Redefining Success

It's a strange thing in our culture that success as a parent is often defined, for babies anyway, as getting your kid to sleep through the night - 12 hrs without a peep from your bub is the goal. In their own bed too.

The pressure is real - one of the questions I get asked regularly is "how is he sleeping?" and "are you getting much rest?". Most of these are asked with good intentions, but it can be hard to always be answering in the negative. You only have to look at the baby section of any bookstore to see the proliferation of experts guaranteeing their methods for training babies to sleep.

Oscar and Mike enjoying a nap

Lack of sleep is hard at the best of times, and I certainly don't blame anyone for chasing a decent night's rest. However I wonder if one of the implications of our cultural setup - where a mum is left alone with the kids for long periods of time during the day - means that sleep becomes more important than it would otherwise be. After all, looking after littlies all day on your own is exhausting - who wouldn't be craving uninterrupted sleep to cope with it all? Perhaps sleep has become a bit of a holy grail of motherhood as we are left literally holding the baby during the day!


We have such a drive to present as 'coping' as well - and this gets hard to maintain without solid rest. Therefore it can be easy to push for more sleep - trying to teach your baby that they don't need you there to fall asleep, they don't need cuddles in the middle of the night, and that they need to develop a little bit of independence - right when they are at their most dependent!


It's crazy. And easily leads to frustration, resentment and stress.

It really goes against the grain of what's natural for lots of babies. Mine certainly need me overnight! Michael sleeps on his own for the first half of the night, then in with me for the remainder. He usually feeds 2 or 3 times. And that's ok. Yes, I'm zonked. But he's only a little bub - it won't be like this forever and for now I'm content with letting him know I'm there for him when the sun goes down. I'll often feed him to sleep, which is breaking all sorts of rules if I want him to sleep more independently. But you know what? It works! It gets him to sleep. And I don't have a problem with that for now.

I think we need to redefine success as a mother - am I responding to my baby's needs? Am I taking steps to make sure we get as much rest as we can, without it being a painful process? Am I teaching my baby that I will be there for them whenever they need me?

I think it's ok to help your baby learn how to fall asleep. It doesn't come naturally to them all and there are great benefits from getting extra zzzz's. Let's not force it though - far better to get less sleep, but teach our babies gently. And to count success in other ways!

(Incidentally, another big measure of 'success' in our culture is breastfeeding (rather than formula). Full night's rest and breastfeeding don't often actually go together - breastfed babies routinely need night feeds anywhere up to a year, if not longer for some. So can formula fed babies for that matter. So it's a bit silly, and hard for mothers, to put the pressure on to get babies to sleep through the night, when other cultural standards don't match up.)

Toot toot!

I heard Hamish wake from his nap on Tuesday, and start singing:

"toot, toot, chugga chugga big red car.."

I opened the door.

"Hi buddy, how was your sleep?"

He looked at me seriously for a few seconds, then said "shut de door".

I shut the door.

"toot toot chugga chugga, big red car..."!

I guess he didn't want to be interrupted mid song!

Little Red House

My friend Jen has started a blog - check it out!

Six months

Michael had his half birthday a little while ago. Six months old already! We're enjoying getting to know his personality and finding out what makes him smile. His latest trick is blowing raspberries. He can go on for quite some time - makes quite a dribbly mess.

Being Abraham (from the bible)

Hamish is adapting well to big brotherhood -he tells Michael to 'share!' as he runs off with the baby toys. They have started to make each other laugh which is just beautiful and feels like a bit of a pay-off for all the hard yards.

We hear these phrases regularly:
No, mum, no!
I do it.
I fix it!
Just one more (holding up one finger to emphasise the point!)
Cake?

Not to mention all the Wiggle-isms - at the dinner table tonight, he announced "ok everybody, time to party!"

Time flies

Hmm, over a month since I posted. Must get my act together!

Stay tuned...

Socks (or, lack thereof)

I did a load of washing the other day (a miracle in itself!) and there were 13 of Hamish's socks in there.

None of them matched.

*sigh*

Cheeky Monkeys

Dirt? What dirt?

Big smiles

Wagging The Tail

I've started a new blog, Wagging The Tail, to explore some stuff that's been on my mind lately. Hop on over and have a look!

Happy 2nd Birthday Hamish!!!

2 years ago...

....one year ago...

...and today!

recent garden photos

The First 3 Months

Mike is now 3 months old. He's turning into quite a munchkin!

It has been a challenging 12 weeks or so. Here's the highlights and lowlights...

Good

• Having the baby! Was great to get him early and the first few weeks were relatively calm. So much better than being pregnant.
  
• Getting to use all the baby stuff again, particularly the sling. Love babywearing!
• Slowly finding a rough pattern to Mike's behaviour and taking 'two steps forward' every now and again.
• All the help we've had - from Mum, church, friends and daycare. Everyone has been really accommodating and happy to help when needed. And plenty of people, particularly church friends, have been so encouraging and supportive, reminding me that this is a season that God is in control of, and that it does get better!
• And of course, getting to know our little boy. We love him! Nothing compares to seeing your bub's face light up when you talk to them.
  

Not So Good

• The juggling act. Impossible at times.
• Sleep deprivation. Not a form of torture for nothin'.
• The unpredictability of a newborn, and the crying. We've had a lot of that (but it's getting better).
• Being physically exhausted. Holding a baby and chasing a toddler is hard work.
  
• Working out how to occupy Hamish while I deal with Michael. I rely on the TV more now - used strategically, it's a powerful weapon! I don't like having it on all that much, but trying to get a baby to sleep with a toddler climbing your leg is a recipe for disaster. Wiggles to the rescue!

Overall, I'd say the challenges have been a bit different second time around. We feel more confident in terms of baby care, and know that every thing is a stage that will pass, but trying to manage a baby and a toddler has stretched us to the limit at times. It's been weird getting used to having two kids to love. Sometimes I feel like I don't give either of them the time and attention they deserve, because I'm constantly running between them.

But things are heading in the right direction, and there's so much to love about this stage of life for all of us. We laugh a lot, and even though I know we'll look back on this as a really hard stage of life, we know it's a special time too.

Short Update

Reflux seems to be under control. Now fighting battles over sleep.

In general, things have improved but still doing the hard yards that you get with a baby.

Hamish has been sick this week - vomiting bug. Luckily he only spewed once, and then was off his food for a few days.

I feel quite worn out, but each day has good and bad moments. Trying to enjoy the good and get through the bad.

Mike is almost 11 weeks old, so we're nearing the 3 month mark. Hooray!

Reality

This is a really helpful post from Jean. I know what she means about comparing yourself to others!! She writes:

"When I read women's blogs, I'm often tempted to play the comparison game.

I read about a craft idea, a birthday party or family devotions, and instead of rejoicing with my sister in Christ and getting ideas, I think to myself, "I could never do that! She's so creative! She gives so much time to her children! I wish I'd thought of that!"

...

Blogs only ever show you part of the reality. Like every mum, I struggle with tiredness, discouragement, irritability, and disobedient children - every day! But in my weakness and weariness, and in our very human family, I have found, like you, that God is good. "

kkkkkkkk,/"::;;

Things feel a bit more under control today. I've managed to get Michael to lie down a few times, propped up on a pillow. So my back has had a bit of a break. And we all had a nap at midday. I was woken from it by the sound of Elmo saying 'you're my best friend!' - I heard it through the baby monitor linking to Hamish's room, where he was in his cot with a large, talking Elmo. (He's very chirpy).

And today, I'm grateful for my fruitbowl. It's full, which is a sign that I got the shopping done. There's some tamarillos (I think that's what they are, anyway!) on the top, from Mum and Dad. Tasty!

NB the title of this post is curtesy of Oscar walking on the keyboard. He thinks it's teatime. It's not.

Social Networking gone wrong...

Our assistant minister used this illustration in his sermon on Sunday, in reference to how a lot of modern relationships are quite shallow, or at least, those conducted on social networking sites are! It's from www.despair.com and certainly makes me reflect on my use of facebook and blogging as a way of keeping in touch with people.

Goings on

Our official 'baby product tester' working hard. So many spots to sleep, so little time...

Testing out the big bed.

Bonding with Oscar (or 'Occars' as Hamish calls him!)

And the reason...

...I'm dejected is because Michael has silent reflux. This means he gets really bad heartburn, particularly after a feed. This in turn means A. LOT. OF. CRYING. So it's not really all that silent - it's just called that because there's no spewing.

He screams so much Adam and I can't hear each other talking, so there's a lot of shouting at each other just to communicate. Fun.

It means I have to wear Michael in the sling for a large part of the day, to keep him upright, which minimises the reflux (and therefore the screaming). Yesterday I think I had him on for at least 5 hours. Did I mention he weighs 5.5kg now?

This makes it hard to get anything done, particularly housework. I can't ignore the housework any more than I already am, because we won't have clean clothes or dishes, or food.

It makes it hard to look after Hamish.

It's very tiring.

But it is manageable - once I adjust my expectations and approach.

I'm getting there, and it will be ok, but today I'm still getting used to the idea, and feeling dejected.

PS We have seen a doctor and are trying some medication so with luck it won't be a long term issue.

Grateful

I read somewhere recently about a project someone had to take a photograph a day for a year showing something they were grateful for.

I'm feeling a little dejected this morning so I thought it would be helpful to think about what I'm grateful for - not sure if I'll do this every day (in fact I probably won't!) but it's not a bad habit to get into is it - reminding myself of all the good things.

So today - I am grateful for the weather.


PS I am also grateful for playdough, which allowed me the time to post this!

Her desire

Nicole linked to this article about a key passage in Genesis - it's the first time I've come across this explanation and I like it, seems to make good sense.

Getting out of the house...

...is a challenge with a toddler and newborn! The effort involved seems to have increased exponentially with the addition of an extra child. Hamish is lucky to exit the house with matching socks, let alone shoes. Actually, he's lucky to have socks on at all!

And you know that cliched picture of a harried mum who looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards? That's me. By the time I get both kids ready to go, it's too late to worry about how I look. Not that I ever used to worry all that much, but lately I have regularly found myself doing an appearance self audit after I leave the house instead of before. No awful fashion faux pas yet, but I'm waiting for the day where I get halfway down the street and realize I'm in my PJ's or have my toothbrush in my hair or something.

Feels like it's only a matter of time.

Random stuff

I wanted to write a proper post but I have the beginnings of a head cold and my brain feels a bit mushy, so here's a random sample of thoughts instead!

I found half a bird on the back deck this morning. Eewwww.

I'm trialling a new system out the front to stop Ruby barking so much - I've placed some old wooden baby gates up against the spots she uses to harrass people, the idea being that if she barks at the gates they will fall down and freak her out, thereby making the crazy barking less appealing to her. So far so good - hasn't stopped the barking but it's definitely toned it down.

Michael is going well - starting to get into more predictable patterns and packing on the weight. He tends to have his longest sleeps in the afternoon, which is good because it gives me time to focus on Hamish and catch up on housework and rest, but means he wakes more often overnight. This is pretty normal for new babies and the hope is that in time he moves the long sleeps to overnight.

Mornings at home are a bit mental - i.e. stressful! It's best if we have somewhere to go, otherwise I struggle to know what to do for the morning. Not at my best first thing! Plus Mike tends to be unsettled so it can be hard to get much done.

I've been experimenting with a structured daily routine for Hamish which has been a great help, although a bit stop start as he's been unwell so we've had to be flexible. Overall though it has helped to keep him occupied and me on track with housework etc.

I am sick of the Wiggles!! Hamish is a fan. Big fan. Me, not so much.

Middle of the night

It's 1.22am. I've been up for over an hour, dealing with a screaming
bub (wind pains) and a crying and coughing toddler (sore throat and
high temp). I'm typing this on my ipod while I nurse. Life feels a bit
mental right now!

Oscar is sleeping in the corner of the room. He looks really comfy but
it makes me a little nervous to see him sleeping on the floor - he
normally only does that when he's unwell. Maybe he's doing it out of
sympathy for hamish, who has been pretty miserable all day. His temp
got up to 39.5 earlier.

I'm trying to count my blessings but my sense of humour re the lack of
sleep ran out some time over the last few days. (It has taken me twice
as long to get to that point this time around so I guess that's a god
thing, and I know it will get better in time.)

All is quiet now, so I'll see if I can get some rest...

Things I Keep Saying

"That's not for eating!"

"What did mummy say?"

and

"Are you doing a poo?"

Aah, the conversations you have with a toddler...

Family Resemblance?

Hamish @ 10 days old.

Michael @ 4 days old.

Redback

I was cleaning out a dog toy this morning, and saw a small spider in it. I fished her out with a spoon, with the intention of putting her back outside. However once she was out I noticed the big red stripe down the back!! Aargh!

I jumped a mile. And then flushed her down the sink.

Some photos

Michael

Well this blog is definitely overdue for an update! Most of February was a write off for me - pregnancy, humidity and low blood pressure combined to make daily life quite difficult.

However this all changed on 21 Feb, when an early labour (probably brought on by illness in the week prior) resulted in the arrival of Michael James Bede McCann!


We've been home now for a week and everything is going smoothly. He's adorable and so far a very easy baby - not that I expect that to last (because babies born early are apparently often very subdued for a few weeks but then it's action stations) but I am enjoying it. I'm slowly getting my strength back and enjoying being able to manage physically again after months of struggling.

Praise God that Michael was born healthy and that everything is going well!

The 'Good News' Lady

I posted a while ago about a lady who stopped me in the street to tell me how much God loved me. I saw her again this morning when I was waiting for a bus, and she once again stopped to share the same news.

It's actually the third time I've encountered her, so this time I asked her if she stopped everyone she met.

She told me that she gets up every morning and goes for a walk and will stop and tell everyone she meets on the walk that God loves them so much, and wants a relationship with them. She said she felt really called to do it, and steps out in faith.

She's very polite and not pushy, although it is a little in your face to hear what she has to say. I find her confronting and a curiosity. I do like her message.

Serial Killer

Q: What do you NOT want to find in your carport after a nice breakfast out?

A: The mangled body of a guinea pig - minus its head.

You may remember from back here that our cats have a bit of a track record in this department, This morning's find was truly gross - and strange. The body was sort of squashed into a hole in the wall, looked like someone had stashed it there for future use. I don't think it got there itself (what with the missing head and all) but it does seem a little out of character for our cats.

Obviously they are the main suspects though. I feel bad for the guinea pig - and I wish whoever owned them would start protecting them a bit more - it's not that hard to secure a cage so a cat can't get in.

Bucket head

Hamish and I went to the supermarket today, and I bought a bucket (and some other stuff!)

On the way out, he grabbed the bucket and put it on his head. It covered his whole face and halfway down his chest.

So I walked out of the shops pushing a bucket with legs sitting up in the trolley. He thought it was pretty funny - and so did I!

Sir Spam-a-lot...

...has paid me a visit. All my old posts have had comments added in an asian script. Like, 300 odd posts. I'm not going to bother going back and deleting them all, it would take too long. If it keeps up I'll add comment moderation back on.

Hippie Tales #2: Home Made Yogurt

Another slightly alternative thing I've started doing is making my own yogurt. We go through a fair bit of it (say 2 ltrs a week) and the cost was starting to bother me.

So I bought an Easi-Yo kit from the supermarket and have been brewing my own yogurt instead. It's a big thermos that you fill with hot water and put a canister in, containing water, existing yogurt, and powdered milk. I use the last few spoonfuls of the previous batch to start the new lot off each time. It takes about 7 - 8 hrs to set and then I put it in the fridge, and when it cools we've got fresh, natural, healthy yogurt.

It costs around $1 a ltr and tastes good - each batch is a little different but generally it has a natural/greek yogurt flavour, and if I add some fruit and either honey or vanilla essence, it tastes great.

Hippie Tales #1: Poo Free

I've gone poo free - shampoo, that is!

A while back I came across some posts on the blogosphere about not using shampoo, and thought I'd give it a go.

The idea is that shampoo strips your hair of its natural oils, which makes your scalp work extra hard to replace them. This is turn makes your hair oilier than it would be otherwise, forcing you to wash more often. And because the oils are stripped each wash, we condition to try to smooth out our hair again! This process is not all that great for your hair, and can be expensive to maintain.

So now, instead of washing my hair with shampoo, I use bi carb soda. I mix it up with some water and rub it in, then rinse. It works really well, is cheap, and doesn't contain harsh chemicals.

So far I've continued to use normal conditioner, but yesterday I tried the alternative instead - rinsing with a bit of apple cider vinegar. It seems to have worked quite well, although it did feel a bit strange to put salad dressing on my head.

Being pregnant helps keep my hair healthy but even taking that into account, I have to say that going poo free has been great - on the budget, and on my head!

Sticky Lemon Yogurt Cake

Michelle has tagged me for a Christmas recipe meme. I am way late in posting, but here is my recipe for a Jesus Birthday Cake (NB it can be any sort of cake you want, in fact it was a Hamish Birthday Cake about 6 months ago, but at Christmas time it's a Jesus one). The recipe is from Good Weekend magazine from a while back, and tastes better if you make it and then leave it in the fridge for a day. I've taken the details below from this site.

Yoghurt Cake with Lemon Syrup
(serves 8-10)
This recipe makes a lovely light lemony cake to enjoy mid afternoon, mid morning or mid meal, if you’re so inclined.

125g butter, softened
200g (1 cup) caster sugar
3 eggs
zest and strained juice of half a lemon
200g (1 1/2 cups) self-raising flour
200g (3/4 cup) natural yoghurt
1/3 cup water
150g (3/4 cup) sugar
thickened cream for serving

Cooking time: Allow over an hour until it comes from the oven, but eat the cake cool
You’ll also need: a 20cm cake tin

Preheat the oven to 180C.
Cream the butter and sugar until pale and light. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. It may look a bit curdled but don’t worry, we’ll fix that. Fold in the lemon zest and flour gently and then fold in the yoghurt too. Use a spatula to scrape into a lined 20cm cake tin, making the centre a little lower compared to the edges. Bake for about 30-40 mins or until a skewer comes out clean.
While the cake cooks, heat the water, sugar and lemon juice in a small saucepan and simmer for 5 minutes. When the cake is cooked, leave it in the tin, poke a fine skewer into the cake all over about 30 times and spoon the hot lemon syrup over the top. Try to spoon it so it soaks into the holes evenly rather than all soaking into the edges around the tin. Allow to cool and serve with lightly whipped cream, coffee and a grin.

Baby thoughts

I've got a few months to go till the baby is born. I've been thinking through what I've learnt about parenting and babies in the last 18 months - this is what I've come up with:

• You have to do what works for you, and be prepared for this to change regularly. I think I've learnt a lot about where my limits are, and when to change tack. This is mainly in relation to stress. If something isn't working, then I'm a lot quicker to change it than I was 18 months ago.
• Lack of sleep affects everything and it's really important to prioritise rest, even if it feels boring. My mind really doesn't work very well when I'm sleep deprived - I can't finish thoughts or make decisions easily, and I get quite negative over time.
• People who tell you to forget about the housework are good intentioned, but they're not the ones sitting there all day staring at it. Do what you need to do to feel sane - by the same token, it's fine to drop your standards as much as you think appropriate!
• Babies are dependent. This means sacrificing many things in the short to medium term as your baby grows, but it won't be forever. Independence will come with time.
• As a child grows, we move from totally protecting them from the world, to training them to cope in the world.
• God knows the heart of a mother and there is plenty of comfort and encouragement in the bible for the tough times.
  
• Parenting is humbling, and totally rewarding at the same time.

Happy new year

Hope you had an enjoyable time over the festive season!

I had an unplanned break from blogging in December, mainly due to tiredness. It was a bit of a difficult month all up - just usual pregnancy weariness combined with a (wonderful) husband working long hours, and a toddler who is always on the go! And I developed low blood pressure which means I have to spend more time than I'd like lying down and resting.

I do find in times when it all is a bit too much the struggle I have is to rely on God's strength, not my own. I have to watch my thoughts or I get down in the dumps, thinking I must be doing a bad job because I can't manage everything as well as I would like. I have this picture in my head of someone living my life, but doing it perfectly, and I just don't measure up!

It is one of the challenges of childrearing to find things to do when you're not really well, the weather sucks, you don't have much money, and you and your kid/s are bored bored bored! Finding that balance between getting near enough rest, while not developing cabin fever, is the tricky bit.

It's something I'm working on, and praying about. I want to find the joy in everyday life, because it is there for the taking. Just have to wade past the crud in the way.