The Pain of Death - and The Hope of the Gospel

At church we've started a sermon series on Genesis. Today's sermon was about the bit where Adam and Eve are cast out of the Garden of Eden for disobeying God.

During his talk, our minister discussed how death came onto the scene and how wrong it is. He said something that really struck me - that death terminates relationships. How true this is. And how painful.

Thankfully, the story doesn't end there in Genesis! He also referred to Romans 5:17: 'For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ'.

A crop!

I planted a few potatoes some months ago, and have been watching their progress with interest. Only one plant ended up growing well, and I was disappointed to see it die back in the heavy rain we had recently.

Today on a whim I had a poke around to see if it had sprouted anything under the soil, and was very excited to find some potatoes! Only a handful really, but still - wow!

My mind is now filled with the possibilities of a larger crop...we eat potatoes all the time so the thought of growing my own is very appealing.

Play

One thing I've always found quite difficult with my kids is playing with them. Sounds silly, but it's not something that has come naturally to me in the past. Looking back on the first year or so with Hamish, I think a lot of my stress came from not knowing what to do with him to fill in the long daylight hours.

However, a few things lately have brought change in this area. Firstly, both boys have reached ages where play is easier - Hamish is into imaginative play, and will run with ideas quite easily, and Michael is old enough to join in a little and to play alongside his brother more than he could as a baby. Secondly, I've realised that all I need to do is to get down to their level, and get over the idea that I should be doing something else with my time. Play is so valuable - it's not simple babysitting - I need to engage with them and enter their world in order to teach them about mine.


Here's a few things we've been playing at lately:
- The Story Bears. Adam and I thought we needed a 'filler' activity in between brushing teeth and bed, just a few minutes of me occupying the kids so he could get some things organised to make bedtime run more smoothly. So I got a basket and put all the toy bears I could find into it. I told the boys they were the Story Bears, and they would tell us a story before bed. It's been such a hit - I sit down with the boys and we choose which bears will be involved, and which story they will act out. Hamish loves hearing Goldilocks and the Three Bears (he likes playing Goldilocks and gets into bed at the right point in the story, then pretends to jump out the window when the bears return!). I've been using the time to teach them some bible stories too, so we've had the bear version of Zaccheus climbing a tree to see Jesus, Jesus calming a storm, the battle of Jericho, and Noah's ark. Michael joins in by running off with various characters and crying when he isn't allowed to get into the basket (normally because Hamish is already in it!)

- Dress ups. We were given some good dressup costumes for Hamish's birthday, which we have added to by making some monkey costumes from an old stocking, and we bought a doctor's kit. This afternoon, Pooh Bear dressed up as various people (policeman, pirate, fireman) and Dr Hamish gave them each a thorough medical checkup.

Michael modelling his monkey ears

- Outdoors play. Hamish loves pretending to rescue random objects from the 'deep dark forest' - aka the bushes near our front door. Michael loves riding his bike and eating chalk (when he gets away with it...)

Overall I've been surprised by how easy it is to play when I put my mind to it. And how enjoyable! The time passes much more quickly, and I feel like I'm making memories with my kids instead of wishing the hours away.

Beach with the boys

We went to Terrigal Beach today, had fish and chips for lunch, and then played in the sand for a while. Hamish enjoyed digging the sand, while Michael seemed to get plenty of enjoyment out of eating the sand. Hmm.

We saw some pelicans, which Michael was quite taken with, and we also saw two large black stingrays cruising along the shoreline, which was very exciting.

To dispel any ideas you may have about this being an idyllic family outing, let me share that the car trip home was less than relaxing - Michael complained loudly most of the way, and Hamish kept up a constant mantra of 'IwantadrinkIwantadrinkIwantadrinkIwantanappleIwantanappleIwantanapple..." (you get the idea!)

Still, overall it was a good afternoon!

Tucked in

Hamish has a habit at the moment of going to sleep at night completely covered under his bedclothes. As it's winter, there are a lot of bedclothes!

This evening, once again, I checked in on him to see, not a boy asleep with his head on the pillow, but a lump halfway down the bed, under quite a few layers of quilts and blankets. I don't know how he even breathes under there!

I put him back up on the pillow and tucked him in. He barely woke up.

A Special Moment

I had explained (probably quite poorly) to Hamish that Papa had passed away and gone to be with Jesus. I don't think he really understood, but I felt I had to say something as we had previously been praying for Papa while he was in hospital.

A few days after this conversation, Hamish and I were reading a children's bible together and we saw a picture of Jesus holding the hand of a boy. Hamish asked who the boy was, and I said it was a child and that Jesus loved him, just like He also loves Hamish.

Hamish looked at me with very big, excited eyes, and declared "when I go to Jesus, he will hold my hand!"
 

A Few Hamish-isms

Me: We're going to drive on the freeway now.
H: I don't want the freeway, I want the two way!

Me: You're a funny monkey.
H: No, I'm a boy.
Me: You're being very literal.
H: No, I'm big!

Beach

My grandfather passed away on Tuesday night. Not unexpectedly, but still, a difficult time.

The boys are at daycare today, so I went out to Terrigal Beach this morning for a bit of time to myself. Here's some photos I took there:

Ill health

We've all ended up unwell the last few days. It has had its moments, but in a strange way it's almost been relaxing, as I have lowered my normal housework standards. And I decided to just play with the kids and meet their needs as best I could.

And you know what? I quite enjoyed myself. Made such a difference to get down to their level and join in, rather than vaguely participating from a distance and wishing they'd look after themselves a bit more. I'll try to do this more often I think - good for them and great for me! Not so great for the housework, but hey - that's hardly the end of the world, and I'm hoping I can be a bit more efficient at it in the windows of opportunity I get. Working smarter, not harder.

Having said that, I am exhausted. Michael has been really clingy and it feels like he's been permanently attached to me, one way or another. Hamish has been quite contrary - which I know is because he's feeling ill, but still challenging to navigate through. Luckily we cooked a big batch of risotto on Thursday night, which took care of quite a few meals, and sleep hasn't been too bad, given I've been getting up to both kids each night.

I hate it when they cough, especially when it's to the point of throwing up. Michael has done it a few times and it is a bit scary. I think he just gets some mucous caught in his throat, nothing really serious, but still - will be glad when it's over.

Brotherly love

Michael has decided it's fun to hit people on the head with hard objects. He takes great pleasure in it! Poor Hamish has copped a few whacks lately thanks to his little brother.

Last night, Michael got him with a toy spanner, and laughed. Quick as a flash, Hamish grabbed the spanner and returned the favour. The nice thing about it was, that he hit Michael quite gently. More of a tap than a whack.

Was quite sweet really.

Meanwhile...

Michael is unwell, and Hamish appears to be coming down with the same bug.

My heart sinks when I first realise they are getting sick - it means snotty noses, even less sleep than usual, panadol, snot, fess, tissues, snot, etc etc. And of course, that they don't feel well!

It also means you can't go out as much as usual, and cabin fever is never far away. I definitely get a strong case of the 'woe-is-me's at these times.

But I was thinking this morning that sickness is not an interruption to life, it is just part of life. It means switching parenting gears a bit, but it's not an inconvenience, it's part of the main game. A chance to look after my kids, re-prioritise, and simplify as much as possible.

We had our church mum's bookclub last weekend, and a great point came up - God gave us our particular children, for us to look after, and to deal with whatever issues this may bring. They are best off with us, in other words, and we are ideally equipped to look after them, even if we feel inadequate or overwhelmed at times.

I'm not sure if I've expressed that properly, but I've found it a comforting thought this week.

Big Day (week, month, year...)

Hamish turned 3 today. We had lots of fun and he was very excited by all the activity.

I made him a Big Red Car cake - which turned out well, although I should say it looked better than it tasted!

I also wrote him a special prayer. I've printed it out and will hang it up in his room. I think it's important that he know he's special and that that means more than just getting presents and eating cake, and I suppose this is a way to show him, and remind him once the birthday is over!

A Prayer for Hamish on his 3^rd Birthday

Dear God,

Thank you for our beautiful boy Hamish. We're so glad you brought him into our family three years ago.

Thank you that he is so energetic, inquisitive and fun.

As he grows this year, please help him learn to trust you and to live your way.

Help him learn to do the right thing, and to seek forgiveness when he needs to.

Please protect him and keep him safe, and build him up in his knowledge of you.

Thank you that you love Hamish even more than we do, and gave your son Jesus for his sake.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Mr No No

This is a recent conversation I had with Hamish:

Me: Ok, we're going to get up and have breakfast.

H: No.

Me: Do you want toast?

H: No.

Me: Porridge?

H: No.

Me: Oh well. Can you put your dressing gown on?

H: No.

This pattern repeats itself a number of times, until I say:

"Is your name No No?"

H: No!

Brain dump

I had vague plans to come on here this evening and write a few things, but now I'm here I'm drawing a big fat blank. So here is a random brain dump of the thoughts I've had swirling around my tired mind today:

Old friends are such an encouragement. I've had a good long chat with an old friend this week, and another has started blogging, and there's just something special about reconnecting with people who've known you for a long time. I should make the effort more often to keep in touch.

I need to reassess (again!) what I think is realistic around the house. I think I should be able to manage a house, but really - with two kids, both demanding my attention more often than not, it's hard going sometimes. So my new plan is to relax about the housework, and enjoy spending time with the kids more. Let's face it - I never get all the work done anyway, so I can either be stressed about it, and not get it done, or relaxed and not get it done! Second option sounds better to me.

Social expectations (real or imagined!) have a lot of power. Can be hard to weed them out. Current ones I'm negotiating include how much to spend on birthday presents for my kids, how clean my house should be, and what to aim for with sleep expectations for the kids. I lack confidence sometimes, even though I do usually make the choices that suit me best.

Not sleeping at night

I can really relate to this post, and it's quite funny too. It's not identical to what goes on here (eg Adam is a light sleeper) but the kids, and the cats...all sounds very familiar!

Food intolerances

The journey to unravel Michael's food intolerances is continuing - we suspect tomato as well as gluten. It isn't hard to eat gluten free, but it can be challenging to stick to it 24/7. It does make a noticable difference to Michael though so I'm happy to do it. It's healthier for sure anyway - less carbs and more home cooking, vegies etc.

Next step is to test how he reacts to tomato after a week off any foods high in glutomates (brocolli, processed meats, fermented goods, meat pies - a rather random list!) and then to give it a few weeks to let his gut become more healthy, and we can start trying to introduce different foods that contain gluten to test how sensitive he is to it. Some people can eat oats and barley, but not wheat, for example. )

Footwear barometer

Introducing the McCann Footwear Scale - a barometer of how a parent is coping, measured by the child's footwear. The parental state of mind deteriorates the further down the list you go:


Clean, matching socks and shoes that fit (gold star parenting).

Matching socks and shoes that fit (quite pleased with oneself).

Mismatched socks and shoes that fit (no-one will notice!).


Mismatched socks and shoes that fit, but that look really weird or completely inappropriate (like the strange ones brought back from Vietnam with unidentified superhero logo on them).

Mismatched socks and shoes that are too large/small (clown feet, anyone?).

Matching socks, no shoes (ok for car trips where child will not leave vehicle or stroller. Or daycare. Or quick walk down the road. Or when you just can't be bothered.).


Mismatched socks, no shoes (See above. Walk quickly and hope you don't see anyone you know).


Unwashed, mismatched socks. (Shoes have disappeared. Tell people the kid dressed themselves).

One sock. (Best to give up now).

Bare feet.

Staying home!

Easter

It's been another quiet month on the blog...a sign of life being very busy in the real world. We've had a lot of sickness lately - coughs and sniffles, and I was just recovering when I gave myself food poisoning last weekend and went downhill again. Add in the usual dose of broken sleep and well, I am exhausted!

Still - we're getting back to manageable now. We enjoyed easter day - Hamish has been learning about both the death and resurrection of Jesus, and the Easter Bunny. Very ecumenical here. I had a lovely moment with him at church this morning, where he started singing along with the congregation during the service - first time he's done that and it felt special! And then they made an easter card in Sunday school, and he 'wrote' a message in it - it was a scribble but when I asked him what it said, he answered 'He died on the cross'.

I had to explain to him that we all celebrate easter at the same time - he thought it was his easter, and we would all have our own on different dates, like birthdays! 

Then it was back home for an easter egg hunt around the front yard, organised by Adam. Hamish had a great time and both boys were keen to get into the chocolate.

10 years On

We visited Mt Tomah Botanical Gardens this weekend, to mark our 10th wedding anniversary. It was a busy and fun day out, and lovely to see the gardens again. 

 

There were lots of these skinks around - this one posed very obligingly!

We had a picnic in the same spot as our wedding ceremony.

Some improvements

Michael and I have been gluten free since Tuesday (so 4 days) and we are seeing some improvements - enough for me to think he does have an intolerance to the stuff. His sleep has been much more settled the last two nights, not nearly as restless, and his nappies - well, let's just say there's more activity in that department than there was previously!

I feel cautiously relieved, and also a bit overwhelmed - I wish so much I'd cottoned on sooner. No wonder the poor kid has had trouble sleeping! He's probably had a belly ache his whole life.