Reality

This is a really helpful post from Jean. I know what she means about comparing yourself to others!! She writes:

"When I read women's blogs, I'm often tempted to play the comparison game.

I read about a craft idea, a birthday party or family devotions, and instead of rejoicing with my sister in Christ and getting ideas, I think to myself, "I could never do that! She's so creative! She gives so much time to her children! I wish I'd thought of that!"

...

Blogs only ever show you part of the reality. Like every mum, I struggle with tiredness, discouragement, irritability, and disobedient children - every day! But in my weakness and weariness, and in our very human family, I have found, like you, that God is good. "

kkkkkkkk,/"::;;

Things feel a bit more under control today. I've managed to get Michael to lie down a few times, propped up on a pillow. So my back has had a bit of a break. And we all had a nap at midday. I was woken from it by the sound of Elmo saying 'you're my best friend!' - I heard it through the baby monitor linking to Hamish's room, where he was in his cot with a large, talking Elmo. (He's very chirpy).

And today, I'm grateful for my fruitbowl. It's full, which is a sign that I got the shopping done. There's some tamarillos (I think that's what they are, anyway!) on the top, from Mum and Dad. Tasty!

NB the title of this post is curtesy of Oscar walking on the keyboard. He thinks it's teatime. It's not.

Social Networking gone wrong...

Our assistant minister used this illustration in his sermon on Sunday, in reference to how a lot of modern relationships are quite shallow, or at least, those conducted on social networking sites are! It's from www.despair.com and certainly makes me reflect on my use of facebook and blogging as a way of keeping in touch with people.

Goings on

Our official 'baby product tester' working hard. So many spots to sleep, so little time...

Testing out the big bed.

Bonding with Oscar (or 'Occars' as Hamish calls him!)

And the reason...

...I'm dejected is because Michael has silent reflux. This means he gets really bad heartburn, particularly after a feed. This in turn means A. LOT. OF. CRYING. So it's not really all that silent - it's just called that because there's no spewing.

He screams so much Adam and I can't hear each other talking, so there's a lot of shouting at each other just to communicate. Fun.

It means I have to wear Michael in the sling for a large part of the day, to keep him upright, which minimises the reflux (and therefore the screaming). Yesterday I think I had him on for at least 5 hours. Did I mention he weighs 5.5kg now?

This makes it hard to get anything done, particularly housework. I can't ignore the housework any more than I already am, because we won't have clean clothes or dishes, or food.

It makes it hard to look after Hamish.

It's very tiring.

But it is manageable - once I adjust my expectations and approach.

I'm getting there, and it will be ok, but today I'm still getting used to the idea, and feeling dejected.

PS We have seen a doctor and are trying some medication so with luck it won't be a long term issue.

Grateful

I read somewhere recently about a project someone had to take a photograph a day for a year showing something they were grateful for.

I'm feeling a little dejected this morning so I thought it would be helpful to think about what I'm grateful for - not sure if I'll do this every day (in fact I probably won't!) but it's not a bad habit to get into is it - reminding myself of all the good things.

So today - I am grateful for the weather.


PS I am also grateful for playdough, which allowed me the time to post this!

Her desire

Nicole linked to this article about a key passage in Genesis - it's the first time I've come across this explanation and I like it, seems to make good sense.

Getting out of the house...

...is a challenge with a toddler and newborn! The effort involved seems to have increased exponentially with the addition of an extra child. Hamish is lucky to exit the house with matching socks, let alone shoes. Actually, he's lucky to have socks on at all!

And you know that cliched picture of a harried mum who looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards? That's me. By the time I get both kids ready to go, it's too late to worry about how I look. Not that I ever used to worry all that much, but lately I have regularly found myself doing an appearance self audit after I leave the house instead of before. No awful fashion faux pas yet, but I'm waiting for the day where I get halfway down the street and realize I'm in my PJ's or have my toothbrush in my hair or something.

Feels like it's only a matter of time.

Random stuff

I wanted to write a proper post but I have the beginnings of a head cold and my brain feels a bit mushy, so here's a random sample of thoughts instead!

I found half a bird on the back deck this morning. Eewwww.

I'm trialling a new system out the front to stop Ruby barking so much - I've placed some old wooden baby gates up against the spots she uses to harrass people, the idea being that if she barks at the gates they will fall down and freak her out, thereby making the crazy barking less appealing to her. So far so good - hasn't stopped the barking but it's definitely toned it down.

Michael is going well - starting to get into more predictable patterns and packing on the weight. He tends to have his longest sleeps in the afternoon, which is good because it gives me time to focus on Hamish and catch up on housework and rest, but means he wakes more often overnight. This is pretty normal for new babies and the hope is that in time he moves the long sleeps to overnight.

Mornings at home are a bit mental - i.e. stressful! It's best if we have somewhere to go, otherwise I struggle to know what to do for the morning. Not at my best first thing! Plus Mike tends to be unsettled so it can be hard to get much done.

I've been experimenting with a structured daily routine for Hamish which has been a great help, although a bit stop start as he's been unwell so we've had to be flexible. Overall though it has helped to keep him occupied and me on track with housework etc.

I am sick of the Wiggles!! Hamish is a fan. Big fan. Me, not so much.

Middle of the night

It's 1.22am. I've been up for over an hour, dealing with a screaming
bub (wind pains) and a crying and coughing toddler (sore throat and
high temp). I'm typing this on my ipod while I nurse. Life feels a bit
mental right now!

Oscar is sleeping in the corner of the room. He looks really comfy but
it makes me a little nervous to see him sleeping on the floor - he
normally only does that when he's unwell. Maybe he's doing it out of
sympathy for hamish, who has been pretty miserable all day. His temp
got up to 39.5 earlier.

I'm trying to count my blessings but my sense of humour re the lack of
sleep ran out some time over the last few days. (It has taken me twice
as long to get to that point this time around so I guess that's a god
thing, and I know it will get better in time.)

All is quiet now, so I'll see if I can get some rest...