Online vs Real Time

I've realise that, when it comes to having decent contact with adults, I've been looking in the wrong places. I've been looking to the online world of facebook and parenting forums for connection and a sense of involvement in the wider world. I've also been missing old friends, who I find it hard to keep in touch with now we don't live anywhere near each other. A phone call every couple of months isn't the same as a regular coffee together, and reading someone's facebook status is a pale shadow of the same.

I read an article the other week by someone who had given up facebook - he had 200 facebook friends, and when he cancelled his account, only 3 got in touch with him. He described the way people use facebook as 'broadcasting' which struck a nerve with me and went some way to explaining why I had been finding it so unsatisfying. It's generally a very shallow and self centred approach to keeping up with people.

Although it has its uses - I've found out via facebook over the past few weeks that four people I know have had babies, and it is good for emailing and photos. It's just if I depend on it for real connections with people, it will more often that not let me down. I usually end up feeling more lonely after spending time on it, not less.

So - I haven't really worked out yet how to move on and develop more rewarding friendships, but at least I've identified the problem! I guess I need to get to know local friends more, and get off the computer and actually ring people up. There's no substitute for actually talking with people is there!