Postscript: Finding The Joy

I'd just like to add that since changing my approach to parenting it's been a lot easier to find the joy admidst all the hard work.

For example, Hamish woke up a few minutes ago and I had to resettle him. A few months ago I probably would have found this frustrating as he was meant to be sleeping, but tonight I noticed how cute he was - he's a bit obsessed with sitting up at the moment so sometimes when he stirs he sits up - and then gets all confused because he's not all that awake! It's very sweet.

These night wakings won't last forever, so I might as well enjoy it as much as I can - and it's lovely to give him a cuddle and resettle him (when he cooperates, at least!)

I've really enjoyed reading the series on the SortaCrunchy blog about finding the middle ground between the opposing parenting views -here's a quote:

"And then there is the other element of the sleep-training philosophy which grieves me...
The very attitude which you are encouraged to take toward your baby.

Drawing the battle lines, steeling up your offensive, and gearing up for a nightly struggle for authority. Don't give an inch or you'll never get it back. Stay strong, Mama.
It seems as though you are to view your baby as your adversary.
...
I simply cannot believe that God would desire any mother to parent out of the place of fear, or to view her baby as an adversary.

You see, I have trouble reconciling the idea of drawing the battle lines between my infant and myself with what I see as I ponder the ways in which God parents me - His child, His unique creation. I come to him with constant needs and requests, a frequent lack of ability to understand, a long and growing list of failings and areas of immaturity. And what does He do? He lavishes love and grace upon me. He pours His presence into my life in every moment that I open myself up to receive it. He is a constant source of comfort and my unshakable certainty. "

So what to do?

As you can see, I've found certain aspects of parenting really frustrating and confusing. So what to do - how do I navigate these (for me) uncharted waters and not go completely mental?

The turning point for me was when I realised that:

a) despite my hand-wringing about not being able to achieve the results the books said I should, Hamish was (and is) doing absolutely fine. He's happy, healthy, and getting enough sleep (even if I'm not!).

b) my goals were skewiff. I was busting my gut trying to meet someone else's definition of success for my family. How silly of me! But how easy to do when it's all new to you, and how awfully stressful to not be meeting these goals, and to think that your exhaustion, and your baby's cries, are your fault.

I changed my goals - instead of getting Hamish to meet certain external criteria for a successful day, my goal now is to stay calm. That's it - to do what I need to do to keep things calm for me, Adam and Hamish. It means going with the flow a lot more, and being willing to chuck it all in and ignore the rules if we're having a bad day. I've cut back my out of home commitments, say 'no' to things more, and don't feel guilty for doing what works for me. I set my own standards more, and things are going better. We still have rough days sometimes, and I don't expect that to change, but I don't beat myself up for it anymore.

I feel like God is teaching me a lot through this, but that's for another post, when I've thought about it more!

One Size Fits All?

One of the most frustrating things I've found so far with parenting is how inconsistent expert advice can be. Despite the fact that all babies are different and there's no 'one-size-fits-all' solution, there's no shortage of people willing to tell you what you can do to achieve 'results'.

There's a lot of disagreement about what results you should be aiming for, let alone how to achieve them. For example, when Hamish was a newborn, we were given wildly differing advice from the hospital staff about breastfeeding. It was really confusing because you'd think there'd be universally accepted facts about things like how much a newborn needs to feed, but no - one midwife told us 30 minutes of good sucking was a full feed for a day-old baby, while the paediatrician told us 1 minute per hour was sufficient for the first day or so! Hmm, so am I aiming for one minute or thirty? We ended up going home earlier than planned because we were getting so confused - with every shift change we were being given different instructions!

One particular area where the expert advice is confusing and contradictory is that of baby sleep, which is something new parents are understandably keen to hear about! Despite the fact that no-one really knows how much sleep babies need, and that no two babies are the same,there's plenty of books out there promising to have your baby sleeping through the night in no time. They establish what I've come to see as unrealistic expectations. Some babies (including mine) don't start sleeping through the night for some time, regardless of what techniques their sleep-deprived parents try. We're yet to get there - and I went through a fair bit of grief thinking I was failing as a parent before realising that perhaps the experts were wrong, not me!

This negative view is reinforced by people who ask "is he a good baby?" (I mean, what's a bad baby??) and "is he sleeping throug the night?". It can get depressing to keep having to answer in the negative - so I've changed my approach and now say that he sleeps really well and only wakes a few times, instead of groaning and saying how he just won't sleep for longer than a few hours at a time!

It's very hard to judge how you are going when even the experts can't agree. It was only when I figured out that there was no definitive answer on most topics, and no one-size-fits-all, that I was able to relax, and rely on my own judgement instead.

The minefield of parenting approaches

One of the BIG divides in looking after babies, and particularly in regards to getting them to sleep, is the controlled crying vs attachment parenting debate. These are two diametrically opposed approaches to parenting. This is a really simplified discription:

Controlled Crying - your baby should be in a routine that you control, not them. You decide, by the clock, when to feed them and when they should go to sleep. They can be trained to go to sleep and stay asleep all night by letting them 'cry it out' - i.e. leave them to cry, checking on them and calming them at regular intervals, until they give up and go to sleep. The often heard promise of this approach is "It only takes 3 nights of pain and they'll be sleeping all night".

Attachment Parenting - your baby needs you. Full stop. They should be fed on demand and sleep when they show 'tired signs'. They should never, ever be left to cry.

Controlled crying advocates think attachment parenting people are wusses who could solve all their sleep problems with a few short nights hard work. People who do it admit to feeling like the worst parents in the world, but it apparently works! Attachment parenting people think those who control cry are practicing child abuse.

My problem with controlled crying is that it goes badly against my instincts to let my baby cry it out. I personally would prefer to get less sleep than fight my instincts on this one. I think Hamish is too little to learn a routine, and his crying is needs based, not manipulative at this stage. Also, he doesn't know he's meant to be following a schedule, and therefore totally ignores my attempts to squeeze him into one.

On the other hand, my problem with attachment parenting is that it is exhausting, and doesn't allow for the needs of the parents. My other main problem with it is that, quite simply, I can't identify Hamish's cries. I don't always know if he's hungry, or tired, or in pain, or whatever. To be honest, a lot of the time it just sounds like plain old crying.

So - if I try to follow controlled crying, I feel like a loser because I can't get my baby into the routines. If I try to follow attachment parenting, I feel like a loser because I can't indentify my baby's signals and therefore meet his needs.

As you may be guessing, it's very easy to feel like a loser here.

So what to do? I've found following a basic schedule works for me - I aim to feed him every 3 - 4 hrs, and put him to bed when he's rubbing his eyes and yawning.

That probably sounds like it's really straightforward and obvious, but trust me when I say it's taken a good 6 or 7 months to feel comfortable with doing it this way.

And it's very easy to say "just do what works for you" but when you're new to parenting and nothing actually seems to be working that's a bit of a challenge. It's natural to seek out 'experts' but unfortunately that can be like entering a minefield, blindfolded and barefoot - you don't know what you're getting into!

The Parenting Paradox

This is the paradox of parenting:

1: I am the expert on my child.

2: I have no idea what I'm doing.


Another one could be:

1: No-one knows the answer.

2: Everyone thinks they do.

You know how when you're watching someone do something like put together a piece of Ikea furniture or play a video game, you always think you could do it better than they are? You say something like "here, give it to me and I'll manage it" or "just put this bit in there". The other person may let you take over, and you find it's not as easy as it looked. The square peg won't fit into the round hole, and what you thought was fairly straightforward is in fact almost impossible.

That's how parenting can be.

I've taken an interest in various parenting philosophies and approaches, and have read things that seem very sensible - logical, practical and wise. Then I've tried to implement them - and it's a disaster. I end up feeling like a complete loser because I can't make it work! The problem must be me! (Or at least that's what I have to stop myself thinking.)

Our society does not equip us to parent. We live isolated from extended family, with little day to day interaction with parents if we are not one ourselves. We are taught at school that we can achieve anything we want (as long as it's not to stay at home and raise a family!) We are led to believe that we can control things - our relationships, our fertility, our lives. We do not have a culture that says it's ok to admit you're struggling and don't have it all together. It's a little like the carpark miracle - at home we flail about trying to get through the day, but in public you'd have to cut our heads off before we admitted it.

It has therefore been a rude shock to me how hard it can be to look after an (admittedly adorable) little person. As I discovered fairly early on, it ain't no Huggies ad.

Parenting

As you would expect, a lot of my headspace the last 6 months has been occupied with parenting stuff. I haven't blogged about it much, but I've been thinking of putting some thoughts down. However I am a bit wary to do so because:

1. I am in no way an expert and have limited experience.
2. There are so many opposing points of view on how to parent best, and I'm a little reluctant to enter the fray.
3. I don't want to come across as whingy or complaining.
4. It's very very easy to hear someone's point of view and think you have the solution, and I get very frustrated when people say "why don't you just do this?" as it shows at best a lack of understanding and at worst a lack of respect, and makes me feel like poo.
5. I have quite strong emotions and feel fairly sensitive about some stuff so I'm not too keen on getting into a debate.

And yet...I do want to blog about it because it's a major part of my life and I enjoy discussing it. So, I will have a bash at it and all I ask is that you respect the fact that it's a sensitive area for me where my confidence is not always 100%.

And I should just say that it's not about Hamish. At all. It's about me and my experience so far with this thing we call parenting!

Minnie finds a warm spot to rest

Note to self: shut laptop when not in use!

This is what she typed:

#';444444/eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee12,hj`nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnfr,9rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb,9op;'4508126

Ecosystem

I've got a whole little ecosystem happening in my laundry.

First, there's the rabbit. We've had him for a couple of years and he freeranges in the laundry. He eats pellets and seeds.

Lately, to my utter disgust, pantry moths have moved into the laundry, feeding on the pellet mix. I can't stand them, mainly because they breed prolifically and are quite hard to get rid of. And they get into all the food and ruin it. I've resorted to squashing every one I see - generally I don't kill bugs around the house, and I find myself wincing and saying "sorry" every time I get one, but it has to be done. It feels like groundhog day - I squash probably 10 - 20 a day, and there's just as many (if not more!) back the next time I go in there!

We've also got a moth trap in there which is a bit macabre - the moths get stuck to it and die a slow death. If you look at it, they appear dead, but if you pick it up they all start moving and you realise they are actually alive and can't escape! I feel sorry for them - so I squash them. Hmmm.

And lastly, frogs have moved in!! No idea how they actually make it into the room, but we suspect they come up the drainpipe. We found two in there over the weekend - probably trying to get out of the heat, and perhaps they eat the moths (I hope so anyway!). We put them outside when we found them, but now they know there's this moth feast waiting for them, they may be back!

Stinkin' hot

I really hate the hot weather. REEEAAALLLLLY hate it. I get very grumpy about it.

I was praying the other week that it would cool down, but I realised that we're not too badly off - we have fans, water on tap, and a pool! So I ended up thanking God for all these things He's given us.

Not that that stopped me complaining over the weekend with temps in the mid 30's, but it was made more bearable with the resources we have.

Here's Hamish and I keeping cool...

Reptile Park

We went to the reptile park today, it was great! Here's a few photos. Hamish enjoyed himself and was particularly taken with the koalas.

Funeral

We returned yesterday from travelling to Inverell to attend the funeral of Adam's pop. He died on Australia Day.

It was a sad trip and very moving to attend the graveside funeral. Death is confronting and awful - we have no answer for it.

Adam's mum and brother gave eulogies about Pop's character - how hard he worked, the things he taught them, and the example he was. The RSL gave a short speech too, and they put poppies on the coffin. They played the Last Post.

The preacher spoke of the comfort we have in Jesus - that we are not alone at the moment of death if we trust in Him. They played a tape of Amazing Grace and asked us to reflect on our memories of Pop while it played. It was a bit strange for me because I've been singing the same song to Hamish lately to help him go to sleep. He slept through most of the service - I did give him a toy mirror at one stage to distract him and he started talking to himself very loudly so I had to take it off him! He was very well behaved thankfully.

I guess I didn't know Pop very well, but I do have a great deal of affection for him. He was a lovely old man who we will miss. I'm glad we were able to go to say farewell.