Tuesday 12 February 2008

Not glowing, just sweaty

I have also been pondering pregnancy in general – which I’m sure won’t be a surprise. I’ve been surprised by how much energy it takes to grow a baby, although it makes sense when you think about it. I had heard of morning sickness, and of tiredness in pregnancy, but the main impression I think I had was that people just got on with life as usual until it was time to pop the baby out. In our age, when women work full time and are expected to have full on careers, it seems that we are meant to keep it all up until the last possible minute and just fit pregnancy into every day life, because to act like a wuss and take it easy would be letting down the sisterhood or something.

Well, I’ve been exhausted. And overwhelmed. And all over the place emotionally. There’s so much to take in and learn and deal with, and I can see why women used to stop work when they fell pregnant! It is indeed a delicate state to be in and it’s been a bit traumatic to find my ability to get ordinary things done gradually shrinking. It’s hard to get to work, it’s hard to get to the shops, to church, to stay awake, to concentrate, to have energy for conversation, to read the bible, to walk the dogs...the list goes on. A lot of things have become harder as I just don’t have the energy to keep up with my regular life right now.

Also, it’s weird to have your body start to behave differently and for your entire wardrobe to stop fitting, and for people to suddenly start asking you quite personal questions about something that is really private and precious.

Of course it’s all for a good cause and I know it’s worth it – I’ve just been surprised by the effort involved and the concessions I’ve had to make to what I think is achievable. It’s hard to find the joy sometimes, although feeling kicks and seeing the ultrasound pics is a good reminder of what it’s all about!

My conclusion is that life is precious. God made people in His image, we are His children and we are valuable. Life is not something insignificant, and it’s not created without a big effort. So I need to adjust my expectations to allow for this effort, and be glad of it, instead of getting annoyed about the difficulties.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're so real, Al! Bugger the sisterhood.

Alison said...

lol I like your attitude!

ud said...

You should be taking time out from thngs but can't. In another time & place you probably could.