Footwear barometer

Introducing the McCann Footwear Scale - a barometer of how a parent is coping, measured by the child's footwear. The parental state of mind deteriorates the further down the list you go:


Clean, matching socks and shoes that fit (gold star parenting).

Matching socks and shoes that fit (quite pleased with oneself).

Mismatched socks and shoes that fit (no-one will notice!).


Mismatched socks and shoes that fit, but that look really weird or completely inappropriate (like the strange ones brought back from Vietnam with unidentified superhero logo on them).

Mismatched socks and shoes that are too large/small (clown feet, anyone?).

Matching socks, no shoes (ok for car trips where child will not leave vehicle or stroller. Or daycare. Or quick walk down the road. Or when you just can't be bothered.).


Mismatched socks, no shoes (See above. Walk quickly and hope you don't see anyone you know).


Unwashed, mismatched socks. (Shoes have disappeared. Tell people the kid dressed themselves).

One sock. (Best to give up now).

Bare feet.

Staying home!