Easter

It's been another quiet month on the blog...a sign of life being very busy in the real world. We've had a lot of sickness lately - coughs and sniffles, and I was just recovering when I gave myself food poisoning last weekend and went downhill again. Add in the usual dose of broken sleep and well, I am exhausted!

Still - we're getting back to manageable now. We enjoyed easter day - Hamish has been learning about both the death and resurrection of Jesus, and the Easter Bunny. Very ecumenical here. I had a lovely moment with him at church this morning, where he started singing along with the congregation during the service - first time he's done that and it felt special! And then they made an easter card in Sunday school, and he 'wrote' a message in it - it was a scribble but when I asked him what it said, he answered 'He died on the cross'.

I had to explain to him that we all celebrate easter at the same time - he thought it was his easter, and we would all have our own on different dates, like birthdays! 

Then it was back home for an easter egg hunt around the front yard, organised by Adam. Hamish had a great time and both boys were keen to get into the chocolate.

Some improvements

Michael and I have been gluten free since Tuesday (so 4 days) and we are seeing some improvements - enough for me to think he does have an intolerance to the stuff. His sleep has been much more settled the last two nights, not nearly as restless, and his nappies - well, let's just say there's more activity in that department than there was previously!

I feel cautiously relieved, and also a bit overwhelmed - I wish so much I'd cottoned on sooner. No wonder the poor kid has had trouble sleeping! He's probably had a belly ache his whole life.

Life This Week

We are all sick. I have a throat infection, Adam feels yuck and exhausted, Hamish had a fever last night and didn't eat anything yesterday, and both boys have runny noses and coughs.

But, strangely enough, we all seem to feel relatively happy. I guess life is good, even when we're not 100%.

So far, we've had a few days gluten free and it's interesting how much healthier we're forced to eat. Lots of vegies, rice and meat, and fruit and yogurt. No sign of improvement in Michael's sleep yet. I'm keeping a food diary for him and me (he and myself??) which might help to pinpoint the issue. Overall I'm thinking he does have some sort of intolerance - it makes sense and makes me feel a bit better about all the sleep problems we've had - something to blame for them I guess!

Peek-a-boo!

mmm, sweet potato!

Michael is at such a cute age - he's getting into lots of stuff and making us laugh - like this morning when he explored the pantry.

Michael's Birthday Video

Happy Birthday Michael!

Hmmm well obviously I have been having an unscheduled break from blogging. It's been a busy and tiring couple of months!

Today it's one whole year since Michael was born. He's a beautiful boy and we love him so much.

Some photos

Mikey enjoying some mush. Yum!

Frogs eggs in our pond. There are heaps of frogs out there - they sound like popcorn going off all night.

Picnic kitty

Hamish and Saffy contemplate the garden

The best and worst sleepers in our family resting together!

Today Thus Far

Woken early by baby, after another restless night.

Feel very tired and unable to function.
Have coffee.
Burst into song in kitchen, to bemusement of children.


Me: You're a cheeky monkey, Hamish.
Hamish: I know mum, I know!

Go to park to meet a couple of mums from mothers group.
Feel like failure as parent as I strip H's wet shoes and socks off his feet - he made it into the water on pretext of chasing ducks.
Realise on way home that I am not failure, just only one there with two kids present. Need cloning machine.

Clean some gunge out of the pool, and spot some weird creepy crawlies in the water. On closer inspection, realise pool is teeming with the little buggers. I don't like them - they scuttle along the ground back to the water when I tip them out of the skimmer box.
Ring pool shop to be told I will have to squash the bugs - only way to get rid of them apparently. Oh, and they bite.

Finally get baby to sleep, only to have toddler deliberately open the door, waking him up.
Put toddler in his room while I try to resettle baby.
Give up.
Go to release toddler from confinement. Can't see him in room. Hmmm.
Me: Hamish?
Cupboard: Yes mum?

Drink another coffee. Don't burst into song this time.

Go to shops.
On arrival in carpark, realise baby has thrown up all over top. Is now soaked.
Find old clean baby top in boot - hurrah!
Do shopping.
Buy cupcakes.
Come home.
Eat cake.

Reflect that it's not so much what happens during the day that counts, but how I respond to it, and how I treat my kids whilst feeling fragile, that's important. I guess today isn't all that bad when I look at it that way.

On with the afternoon!

Food Is Fun!

Redefining Success

It's a strange thing in our culture that success as a parent is often defined, for babies anyway, as getting your kid to sleep through the night - 12 hrs without a peep from your bub is the goal. In their own bed too.

The pressure is real - one of the questions I get asked regularly is "how is he sleeping?" and "are you getting much rest?". Most of these are asked with good intentions, but it can be hard to always be answering in the negative. You only have to look at the baby section of any bookstore to see the proliferation of experts guaranteeing their methods for training babies to sleep.

Oscar and Mike enjoying a nap

Lack of sleep is hard at the best of times, and I certainly don't blame anyone for chasing a decent night's rest. However I wonder if one of the implications of our cultural setup - where a mum is left alone with the kids for long periods of time during the day - means that sleep becomes more important than it would otherwise be. After all, looking after littlies all day on your own is exhausting - who wouldn't be craving uninterrupted sleep to cope with it all? Perhaps sleep has become a bit of a holy grail of motherhood as we are left literally holding the baby during the day!


We have such a drive to present as 'coping' as well - and this gets hard to maintain without solid rest. Therefore it can be easy to push for more sleep - trying to teach your baby that they don't need you there to fall asleep, they don't need cuddles in the middle of the night, and that they need to develop a little bit of independence - right when they are at their most dependent!


It's crazy. And easily leads to frustration, resentment and stress.

It really goes against the grain of what's natural for lots of babies. Mine certainly need me overnight! Michael sleeps on his own for the first half of the night, then in with me for the remainder. He usually feeds 2 or 3 times. And that's ok. Yes, I'm zonked. But he's only a little bub - it won't be like this forever and for now I'm content with letting him know I'm there for him when the sun goes down. I'll often feed him to sleep, which is breaking all sorts of rules if I want him to sleep more independently. But you know what? It works! It gets him to sleep. And I don't have a problem with that for now.

I think we need to redefine success as a mother - am I responding to my baby's needs? Am I taking steps to make sure we get as much rest as we can, without it being a painful process? Am I teaching my baby that I will be there for them whenever they need me?

I think it's ok to help your baby learn how to fall asleep. It doesn't come naturally to them all and there are great benefits from getting extra zzzz's. Let's not force it though - far better to get less sleep, but teach our babies gently. And to count success in other ways!

(Incidentally, another big measure of 'success' in our culture is breastfeeding (rather than formula). Full night's rest and breastfeeding don't often actually go together - breastfed babies routinely need night feeds anywhere up to a year, if not longer for some. So can formula fed babies for that matter. So it's a bit silly, and hard for mothers, to put the pressure on to get babies to sleep through the night, when other cultural standards don't match up.)

Six months

Michael had his half birthday a little while ago. Six months old already! We're enjoying getting to know his personality and finding out what makes him smile. His latest trick is blowing raspberries. He can go on for quite some time - makes quite a dribbly mess.

Being Abraham (from the bible)

Hamish is adapting well to big brotherhood -he tells Michael to 'share!' as he runs off with the baby toys. They have started to make each other laugh which is just beautiful and feels like a bit of a pay-off for all the hard yards.

We hear these phrases regularly:
No, mum, no!
I do it.
I fix it!
Just one more (holding up one finger to emphasise the point!)
Cake?

Not to mention all the Wiggle-isms - at the dinner table tonight, he announced "ok everybody, time to party!"

Cheeky Monkeys

Dirt? What dirt?

Big smiles

The First 3 Months

Mike is now 3 months old. He's turning into quite a munchkin!

It has been a challenging 12 weeks or so. Here's the highlights and lowlights...

Good

• Having the baby! Was great to get him early and the first few weeks were relatively calm. So much better than being pregnant.
  
• Getting to use all the baby stuff again, particularly the sling. Love babywearing!
• Slowly finding a rough pattern to Mike's behaviour and taking 'two steps forward' every now and again.
• All the help we've had - from Mum, church, friends and daycare. Everyone has been really accommodating and happy to help when needed. And plenty of people, particularly church friends, have been so encouraging and supportive, reminding me that this is a season that God is in control of, and that it does get better!
• And of course, getting to know our little boy. We love him! Nothing compares to seeing your bub's face light up when you talk to them.
  

Not So Good

• The juggling act. Impossible at times.
• Sleep deprivation. Not a form of torture for nothin'.
• The unpredictability of a newborn, and the crying. We've had a lot of that (but it's getting better).
• Being physically exhausted. Holding a baby and chasing a toddler is hard work.
  
• Working out how to occupy Hamish while I deal with Michael. I rely on the TV more now - used strategically, it's a powerful weapon! I don't like having it on all that much, but trying to get a baby to sleep with a toddler climbing your leg is a recipe for disaster. Wiggles to the rescue!

Overall, I'd say the challenges have been a bit different second time around. We feel more confident in terms of baby care, and know that every thing is a stage that will pass, but trying to manage a baby and a toddler has stretched us to the limit at times. It's been weird getting used to having two kids to love. Sometimes I feel like I don't give either of them the time and attention they deserve, because I'm constantly running between them.

But things are heading in the right direction, and there's so much to love about this stage of life for all of us. We laugh a lot, and even though I know we'll look back on this as a really hard stage of life, we know it's a special time too.

Short Update

Reflux seems to be under control. Now fighting battles over sleep.

In general, things have improved but still doing the hard yards that you get with a baby.

Hamish has been sick this week - vomiting bug. Luckily he only spewed once, and then was off his food for a few days.

I feel quite worn out, but each day has good and bad moments. Trying to enjoy the good and get through the bad.

Mike is almost 11 weeks old, so we're nearing the 3 month mark. Hooray!

Goings on

Our official 'baby product tester' working hard. So many spots to sleep, so little time...

Testing out the big bed.

Bonding with Oscar (or 'Occars' as Hamish calls him!)

And the reason...

...I'm dejected is because Michael has silent reflux. This means he gets really bad heartburn, particularly after a feed. This in turn means A. LOT. OF. CRYING. So it's not really all that silent - it's just called that because there's no spewing.

He screams so much Adam and I can't hear each other talking, so there's a lot of shouting at each other just to communicate. Fun.

It means I have to wear Michael in the sling for a large part of the day, to keep him upright, which minimises the reflux (and therefore the screaming). Yesterday I think I had him on for at least 5 hours. Did I mention he weighs 5.5kg now?

This makes it hard to get anything done, particularly housework. I can't ignore the housework any more than I already am, because we won't have clean clothes or dishes, or food.

It makes it hard to look after Hamish.

It's very tiring.

But it is manageable - once I adjust my expectations and approach.

I'm getting there, and it will be ok, but today I'm still getting used to the idea, and feeling dejected.

PS We have seen a doctor and are trying some medication so with luck it won't be a long term issue.

Some photos

Michael

Well this blog is definitely overdue for an update! Most of February was a write off for me - pregnancy, humidity and low blood pressure combined to make daily life quite difficult.

However this all changed on 21 Feb, when an early labour (probably brought on by illness in the week prior) resulted in the arrival of Michael James Bede McCann!


We've been home now for a week and everything is going smoothly. He's adorable and so far a very easy baby - not that I expect that to last (because babies born early are apparently often very subdued for a few weeks but then it's action stations) but I am enjoying it. I'm slowly getting my strength back and enjoying being able to manage physically again after months of struggling.

Praise God that Michael was born healthy and that everything is going well!