Life This Week

We are all sick. I have a throat infection, Adam feels yuck and exhausted, Hamish had a fever last night and didn't eat anything yesterday, and both boys have runny noses and coughs.

But, strangely enough, we all seem to feel relatively happy. I guess life is good, even when we're not 100%.

So far, we've had a few days gluten free and it's interesting how much healthier we're forced to eat. Lots of vegies, rice and meat, and fruit and yogurt. No sign of improvement in Michael's sleep yet. I'm keeping a food diary for him and me (he and myself??) which might help to pinpoint the issue. Overall I'm thinking he does have some sort of intolerance - it makes sense and makes me feel a bit better about all the sleep problems we've had - something to blame for them I guess!

Four Moments

Today is Father's Day. (Not sure where the apostrophe goes there!). We gave Adam a card in bed this morning and I enjoyed seeing him start the day with his two sons. He is a great dad. I reflected on his Pop, who passed away in January 2009. I'm sad that he's not with us today.

*****

At church, as I stand singing, listening to the voices of those around me, I remember previous times I have sung these songs, with the voices of friends lifting around me. It gives me a sense of connection with Christian friends from my old church. Although I don't keep in touch with most of them, we remain connected by our trust in Jesus, and this ritual of singing each week. I think of all the people who have sung the same songs over the course of time, and am grateful for the family of God.

*****

After the service, I give Hamish a cup of cordial from the kids' food table. It reminds me of church when I was a kid - we used to line up at an outside window at St Lukes Hornsby Heights to get our cordial, in brightly coloured plastic cups. I remember crowds of children, eagerly reaching up to the window. The cups we use today at Gosford Presbyterian Church are exactly the same, and it's a little surreal to be helping my little boy drink from one today.

*****

I open my fridge, and see the orange and mango jelly I made the day before, sitting in a blue mixing bowl. I am reminded of my childhood, watching Dad mix jelly in the kitchen. We used to have big jars of the crystals, not the little packets you get today. We'd sneak spoonfuls of it - a sugar hit! Jelly always felt like a real treat. Dad would mix it up in glass jugs and always stick a metal spoon in - something about it preventing the heat from cracking the glass.  As I look at my jelly today, I suddenly feel very rich. Its value seems so much more than the few dollars it cost me.

Mo Town Update

Adam's mo is gaining ground - he's keeping it neat and tidy, and it's thickening up. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mess with him.

Although he tells me he saw a man at work yesterday, who had a much more serious looking mo, who told him 'You need training wheels for that thing!"

Hamish was a little uncooperative this week so we resorted to technology to show what he would look like if we could get him to stay still long enough to 'grow' a mo!

The Mo - one week in

Here Comes the Mo - Day 1

Today, being 1 November, is the first day of MOVEMBER. Adam has started his mo - here he is with Hamish (who is currently mo-less but not for long!).

I think Ad's mo will be somewhat disturbing once it's a bit bigger...I don't know if you can tell from this photo but he's going for a Chopper Read style (!).

Thanks to those of you who have sponsored him already!

Movember!

Adam will be growing a mo for Movember, an event that helps raise awareness and funds for men’s health. You can view his progress, and sponsor him, at http://au.movember.com/mospace/70967/

As an incentive, here's how he could be looking at the end of the month!

Big wheels

Adam sold the motorbike and got a new car...or should I say, a new monster truck!

Minnie has already adopted it as her preferred sleep spot.

Funeral

We returned yesterday from travelling to Inverell to attend the funeral of Adam's pop. He died on Australia Day.

It was a sad trip and very moving to attend the graveside funeral. Death is confronting and awful - we have no answer for it.

Adam's mum and brother gave eulogies about Pop's character - how hard he worked, the things he taught them, and the example he was. The RSL gave a short speech too, and they put poppies on the coffin. They played the Last Post.

The preacher spoke of the comfort we have in Jesus - that we are not alone at the moment of death if we trust in Him. They played a tape of Amazing Grace and asked us to reflect on our memories of Pop while it played. It was a bit strange for me because I've been singing the same song to Hamish lately to help him go to sleep. He slept through most of the service - I did give him a toy mirror at one stage to distract him and he started talking to himself very loudly so I had to take it off him! He was very well behaved thankfully.

I guess I didn't know Pop very well, but I do have a great deal of affection for him. He was a lovely old man who we will miss. I'm glad we were able to go to say farewell.

In Defence of the Welcoming Wife

A joke email that does the rounds every now and again lists guidelines from the 1950's for a wife to follow to welcome her husband home. A selection of the tips can be read here.

It's basically stuff like make sure you have a meal on the table when hubby gets home; tidy the house before he arrives; make sure you look nice, etc.

While some of the suggestions might be a little over the top, and I don't particularly like the inference in some of them that the husband's day is more important that the wife's, I've been thinking for some time that I agree with the basic principle - make your home a welcoming and relaxing place for your husband to come home to.

As I'm at home the most, I've got a lot of influence over the environment here - even when I've had a rotten day, I can choose to do a quick tidy up before 5pm, or leave the mess so he has to step over toys to get in the door. I can have a plan for dinner (however vague or basic) or I can leave it up to him to feed himself. Whichever choice I make has an impact, for good or bad, on his day and our home life.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a wife treating her husband as an important person at the end of the working day - in fact, I think it's a very good thing. I want Adam to look forward to coming home each evening. It's a highlight of my day - and it should be a highlight of his too!

Adam's new wheels

Vroom vroom!!

Wedding vows

Another idea that struck me from the DVD (see below), is that marriage is a covenant between two people. It's not, fundamentally, about feelings of love - it's about the making, and keeping, of promises. This is what distinguishes marriage from de facto relationships, where there are no explicit, public promises.

This means that the actual vows are really important - these are the promises we make and the core of the relationship! I wonder sometimes about modern wedding vows, whether the promises made are in keeping with what marriages need to survive and thrive. For example, some vows include sections about helping the other person reach their potential, or fulfill their life dreams, or become all they can be. This, in a subtle way, to me seems to be promoting the individual as more important than the marriage.

Of course there is plenty of room within the marriage relationship for people to achieve their own goals and develop as individuals, but when this becomes more important than the marriage things are in trouble.

If times are tough I try to ask not what do I need, but rather what does my marriage need. Why? Because I promised to. Here's what I said to Adam on 24 March 2001:

"I Alison, in the presence of God, take you Adam, to be my husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to submit to all the time, as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow and promise."

Now, I love Adam very much. But if those feelings weren't there, the promises would be. That's why vows are important to the health of a marriage - and why we depend on them!