Easter

It's been another quiet month on the blog...a sign of life being very busy in the real world. We've had a lot of sickness lately - coughs and sniffles, and I was just recovering when I gave myself food poisoning last weekend and went downhill again. Add in the usual dose of broken sleep and well, I am exhausted!

Still - we're getting back to manageable now. We enjoyed easter day - Hamish has been learning about both the death and resurrection of Jesus, and the Easter Bunny. Very ecumenical here. I had a lovely moment with him at church this morning, where he started singing along with the congregation during the service - first time he's done that and it felt special! And then they made an easter card in Sunday school, and he 'wrote' a message in it - it was a scribble but when I asked him what it said, he answered 'He died on the cross'.

I had to explain to him that we all celebrate easter at the same time - he thought it was his easter, and we would all have our own on different dates, like birthdays! 

Then it was back home for an easter egg hunt around the front yard, organised by Adam. Hamish had a great time and both boys were keen to get into the chocolate.

Four Moments

Today is Father's Day. (Not sure where the apostrophe goes there!). We gave Adam a card in bed this morning and I enjoyed seeing him start the day with his two sons. He is a great dad. I reflected on his Pop, who passed away in January 2009. I'm sad that he's not with us today.

*****

At church, as I stand singing, listening to the voices of those around me, I remember previous times I have sung these songs, with the voices of friends lifting around me. It gives me a sense of connection with Christian friends from my old church. Although I don't keep in touch with most of them, we remain connected by our trust in Jesus, and this ritual of singing each week. I think of all the people who have sung the same songs over the course of time, and am grateful for the family of God.

*****

After the service, I give Hamish a cup of cordial from the kids' food table. It reminds me of church when I was a kid - we used to line up at an outside window at St Lukes Hornsby Heights to get our cordial, in brightly coloured plastic cups. I remember crowds of children, eagerly reaching up to the window. The cups we use today at Gosford Presbyterian Church are exactly the same, and it's a little surreal to be helping my little boy drink from one today.

*****

I open my fridge, and see the orange and mango jelly I made the day before, sitting in a blue mixing bowl. I am reminded of my childhood, watching Dad mix jelly in the kitchen. We used to have big jars of the crystals, not the little packets you get today. We'd sneak spoonfuls of it - a sugar hit! Jelly always felt like a real treat. Dad would mix it up in glass jugs and always stick a metal spoon in - something about it preventing the heat from cracking the glass.  As I look at my jelly today, I suddenly feel very rich. Its value seems so much more than the few dollars it cost me.

The 'Good News' Lady

I posted a while ago about a lady who stopped me in the street to tell me how much God loved me. I saw her again this morning when I was waiting for a bus, and she once again stopped to share the same news.

It's actually the third time I've encountered her, so this time I asked her if she stopped everyone she met.

She told me that she gets up every morning and goes for a walk and will stop and tell everyone she meets on the walk that God loves them so much, and wants a relationship with them. She said she felt really called to do it, and steps out in faith.

She's very polite and not pushy, although it is a little in your face to hear what she has to say. I find her confronting and a curiosity. I do like her message.

Happy new year

Hope you had an enjoyable time over the festive season!

I had an unplanned break from blogging in December, mainly due to tiredness. It was a bit of a difficult month all up - just usual pregnancy weariness combined with a (wonderful) husband working long hours, and a toddler who is always on the go! And I developed low blood pressure which means I have to spend more time than I'd like lying down and resting.

I do find in times when it all is a bit too much the struggle I have is to rely on God's strength, not my own. I have to watch my thoughts or I get down in the dumps, thinking I must be doing a bad job because I can't manage everything as well as I would like. I have this picture in my head of someone living my life, but doing it perfectly, and I just don't measure up!

It is one of the challenges of childrearing to find things to do when you're not really well, the weather sucks, you don't have much money, and you and your kid/s are bored bored bored! Finding that balance between getting near enough rest, while not developing cabin fever, is the tricky bit.

It's something I'm working on, and praying about. I want to find the joy in everyday life, because it is there for the taking. Just have to wade past the crud in the way.

Advent

I've been inspired by Nicole's advent posts to think about what we're going to do in the lead up to Christmas.

An exciting part of Christmas growing up was all the food in the house - Dad would go all out to stock up on tasty treats. The loungeroom would be heaving under the weight of it all - and we'd spend the school holidays making it all disappear. Yum! So this year I think we'll do something similar, although on a smaller scale. I'll buy a few extra things each week leading up to Christmas, and then we can hoe in from 25th on.



I've got some nice Christmas choral music, including a copy of Handel's Messiah, and these will be on high rotation for the next few weeks, particularly around dinner time.



And we're doing our own advent calendar - not every day, but once a week or so Hamish and I will sit down to do some craft, and then stick it up on the wall. This is the first one:







The other ones will use these verses:

• 'We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him, the iniquity of us all' Isaiah 53:6 (Craft - cotton wool sheep)


• 'When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.' Matt 2:10 (craft - stars of course!)


• Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favour rests.' Luke 2:14 (craft - angels)


• 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.' John 3:16 (Craft - manger scene)

Childcare

Nicole linked to these two really thought provoking posts about assessing childcare from a biblical perspective.

I like Jean's ideas about elevating motherhood over having a career, and about the church community pitching in to help struggling mums.

Attention Span (or lack thereof)

My attention span is shot these days. I don't know if it's because I spend too much time on the internet, flicking from screen to screen, or if life with a kid means my brain has to be constantly running three tracks at the one time , but I find it really hard to sit and focus on one thing.

I'm ok with reading, but tv and movies? It's a struggle to last more than 30 minutes without getting bored. And around the house, I get so easily distracted - between trying to get stuff done, chasing after Hamish and the menagerie, and keeping up with emails, voicemail and texts, it's a rarity for my brain to be still.

I need to work on this - only do one thing at a time! And cut back on having to be connected all the time - there's been a few articles on this recently, like this one by Mia Freeman. It's a not healthy habit, but a hard one to break.

One of my favourite bible verses is "Be still, and know that I am God" (Ps 46:10). Perhaps easier said than done, but well worth taking to heart.

Sacrifice

Been thinking recently about an irony of motherhood - that when God generously gives you the desire of your heart - a child - one of the effects is the seemingly inevitable sacrifice of so many other desires. Eg sleep and rest, time to relax and pursue hobbies and friendships, serving in church etc.

Unless you are a 'Super Mum' (and our culture seems to be slowly realising what a myth that is!) it's just not possible to devote as much time to personal interests as it is without young kids.

So fulfilling one desire puts the rest on hold - because looking after a bub means consistently putting someone else's needs before your own - needs that take up most of the day and sometimes, half the night!

I don't think this is a bad thing - it's just the way it is. It can be tough going, but I know that it's in the challenges that God is at work, shaping us into people who reflect His character. And we've got the ultimate example in His son, who not only gave up his personal interests for us, but his life.

'Important News'

I was given two bits of 'important news' today on my walk to the shops and back.

The first was from the lady serving me at the butchers* - she told me that Michael Jackson had died. It's interesting to see that she considered the news of the death worth passing on to a stranger (although I suppose they are used to making conversation with customers).

The second bit of 'news' came as I was walking home. A lady stopped me in the street and asked if she could tell me something really important. I had a hunch what was coming next: "God really loves you!"

I interrupted her at that point to explain that I had already heard that particular news and was in fact a Christian. She asked if I was a 'born-again' Christian, and I agreed that I was after checked her definition of born again! (Having received God's Holy Spirit).

We then went our separate ways. I've got to say, despite the fact that I suspect her and I would differ on a few theological points, I was impressed by her boldness in proclaiming the good news of God's love.

* Incidentally, it was quite funny at the butchers because I requested a lamb pie, and they thought I asked for lamb's fry! I noticed them bagging up a massive livery looking thing and realised the mistake. We had a bit of a chuckle about it...

Ribbet, ribbet

On the topic of my bible verse for the week, Soph recently wrote a great post on this section of the bible.

Now that I spend most of my time at home, I've got a great opportunity to control what fills my mind, more so than when I was out and about and working every day.

There's so much noise out there, and if we don't take a critical look at it and try to filter it we can end up thinking some unhealthy and ungodly things, without even noticing. For example - we live in a culture that is constantly telling us we need things, it's all about us, 'we're worth it' and (at the moment) it's our duty to spend money and indulge a bit - for the sake of the economy! I stopped reading catalogues a few months back because all they were doing was making me want to spend money on things I don't need. For the first time in ages, I had a look through a pile of them recently- and guess what? I now think I need to go and buy some winter clothes, a slow cooker, an SLR camera and a sewing machine!

Another area that this relates to is the moral slant of what I watch on TV. One of the first things we were taught at uni was that everything in the media has a bias. There is no neutral - there is always an agenda and a worldview at work, even if it's not obvious. What can seem like mindless entertainment can and does influence us and when you stop and think about it, it's really quite unhealthy to be enjoying tales of murder, rape, adultery, and so on. I used to love racing home from work to watch Bold and the Beautiful, until I took a long hard look at what I was actually enjoying!

I do feel like the proverbial frog in the pot of water sometimes, slowly cooking to a worldly crisp without even realising it. So here's to discernment, and to dwelling on the good things!

I'm taking on Aimee's suggestion to start memorising bible verses - here's this week's:

Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of waterwelling up to eternal life"John 4:13-14

Now I just have to get my act together and try to learn it!

Back in the saddle

After a 4 month hiatus, I have joined a bible study group again. It wasn't a carefully thought out decision, more a whim (mainly because someone invited me!) but I'm feeling really good about it.

Early riser

The women at my church with young kids have just started up a book club, so we can get to know each other better and encourage one another during this busy season of our lives.

The first book we're reading is Shopping for Time. It has some good challenges in it, and one we discussed this week is that of getting up early (before the rest of the family) to spend time with God and to serve the family by preparing for the day.

I am SO not an early riser. I have always, always, waited until the last possible moment to get out of bed. Sometimes I have left it too long, most notably when my friend Jenny and I missed the train in yr 12 and would have been late for our trial english exam (very important event) had we not woken up her boyfriend to drive us to school - all because I slept in.

So it is a significant challenge for me to even think about getting up before I have to. Any time I've tried it, I've failed abysmally. Of course, these days, I don't decide when to get up - Hamish decides for me. But I could get up when he wakes, instead of lying in bed with a grumpy baby who really wants to get up and on with the day.

The benefits of spending time with God at the start of the day are pretty clear to me. The other aspect, that of blessing my family by preparing for the day, is one I am chewing over. Of course if I am sleep deprived because of a restless baby, the best way to serve my family (and myself) is to get as much sleep as possible and if that means sleeping in, so be it. But if I get to bed by 10pm, I can get enough sleep, or near enough, now that Hamish is doing better overnight (by the way, you have no idea how exciting that is for me). So if I were to get up at 6.30am instead of 7am, I wonder what I could do with the time? More thinking to do....

The Good...

Hamish managed to make it through last night without me having to go into him at all. First time ever!! What a spin out - totally wasn't expecting it either. He did wake up a few times but seemed to go back to sleep without any dramas. Woohoo! This is after a week of getting little decent sleep mind you.

I've been reminded that during the tough times, God is refining our character. And I feel like I've been embracing the challenges more this week instead of resenting them. An attitude adjustment does wonders!

I've got today's dinner organised and have run the dishwasher, and done two loads of laundry.

I'm booked in to visit the local health clinic day stay service on Monday, to see if they can help with Hamish's night issues.

Girltalk series

The Girltalk blog are doing a series on The Gospel for Busy Moms. I'll be reading with interest....

Going Through It

One of the books I've been reading to Hamish is called "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" (by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury). This is how it starts:

We're going on a bear hunt.
We're going to catch a big one.
What a beautiful day!
We're not scared.

Uh-uh! Grass!
Long wavy grass.
We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.
Oh no! We've got to go through it!

And off they go through the grass (and various other obstacles) till they reach the bear - who they run away from!

Dealing with prolonged sleep deprivation caused by a restless baby is a bit like this - the only way, in the end, is to go through it. There's only so much you can do to influence someone else's sleep patterns. And trust me, I've tried everything!

I've had this section of the bible floating round my head this week:

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5:1 - 5)

I'm pretty sure Paul didn't have rough nights with a baby in mind when he wrote this, but I do think I am developing perseverance as I go through this challenging time. The next step is character - I assume he means Godly character - so that's what I'm trying to focus on. It's a great comfort to know that God is at work in me, even when I can't finish a thought or remember what day of the week it is!

God in the tiredness

I've been really tired this week. Not just a little sleepy - more in the needing matchsticks to keep my eyes open and forgetting my name category. And along with the tiredness came stress, depression and anger - a natural reaction to being woken every two hours overnight all week. But not a fun way to get through the day.

I had one particular gloomy day, when God came to the rescue - not with sleep, but with a good conversation with an old friend, an encouraging phone call from a lady at church, who reminded me to lean on God's word, and Adam's parents - who turned up with a 5kg box of chocolates! I ended the day in a much better mood than I started...and looking back I do think it was God that made the difference.

Stinkin' hot

I really hate the hot weather. REEEAAALLLLLY hate it. I get very grumpy about it.

I was praying the other week that it would cool down, but I realised that we're not too badly off - we have fans, water on tap, and a pool! So I ended up thanking God for all these things He's given us.

Not that that stopped me complaining over the weekend with temps in the mid 30's, but it was made more bearable with the resources we have.

Here's Hamish and I keeping cool...

Funeral

We returned yesterday from travelling to Inverell to attend the funeral of Adam's pop. He died on Australia Day.

It was a sad trip and very moving to attend the graveside funeral. Death is confronting and awful - we have no answer for it.

Adam's mum and brother gave eulogies about Pop's character - how hard he worked, the things he taught them, and the example he was. The RSL gave a short speech too, and they put poppies on the coffin. They played the Last Post.

The preacher spoke of the comfort we have in Jesus - that we are not alone at the moment of death if we trust in Him. They played a tape of Amazing Grace and asked us to reflect on our memories of Pop while it played. It was a bit strange for me because I've been singing the same song to Hamish lately to help him go to sleep. He slept through most of the service - I did give him a toy mirror at one stage to distract him and he started talking to himself very loudly so I had to take it off him! He was very well behaved thankfully.

I guess I didn't know Pop very well, but I do have a great deal of affection for him. He was a lovely old man who we will miss. I'm glad we were able to go to say farewell.

Merry Christmas!

This carol sums up what I think is most important about Christmas. It's one of my favourites and a real cracker:

Hark the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled
"Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Christ by highest heav'n adored
Christ the everlasting Lord!
Late in time behold Him come
Offspring of a Virgin's womb
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see
Hail the incarnate Deity
Pleased as man with man to dwell
Jesus, our Emmanuel
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Merry Christmas everyone!!